Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
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i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
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Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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