its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
