Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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