I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
