you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
