I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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