I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
