So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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