the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
