Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
