God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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