if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize