Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
