I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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