i would punch a child for taco bell
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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