Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We left an ass print on the piano.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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