Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
