all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
