What did we do last night that was yellow?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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