I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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