Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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