Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i love accidental penises.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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