We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
