i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
That accounts for only three of the penises
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
