he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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