So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
