Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
