There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Pants are for mortals
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize