Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
