my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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