the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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