great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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