Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
