Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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