so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
