This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
