arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
