"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
