please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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