If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Randomize
