did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
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Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize