god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
