flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
