i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize