my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
