Moan for me like Helen Keller
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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