does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
