What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
