I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
