yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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