alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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