watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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