i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize