My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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