Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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