i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
