I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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