I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
