That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
